Alexa Anne
Alexa has always been a Daddy's girl no doubt. I knew deep down that one day she would need me.
Of course she would always need me in some way because let's face it, the girl is a picky eater and if I didn't make her lunch she might starve.
See? She needs me!
But on a deeper level, Alexa and I have always struggled to really see eye to eye. We butt heads when Chris travels and it's been a mystery to me what it is exactly that she needs from me as her mom. I just always felt in my heart that one day she would really NEED me.
She recently got a gift card and she spent it on a pair of Christmas Pajamas. She begged her dad to get me the exact same pajamas so that she and I could match. I am now the proud owner of Polar Bear and Fleece bottom pajamas that just so happen to be matching with my ten year old daughter. The smile on her face and the pride she had was priceless. Silly girl. I got more hugs the night she gifted them to me than I had received in a while. The next night, she asked me to sit by her at dinner. She asked me to tuck her in to bed (normally her Dad does).
A couple weeks before the pajamas made an entrance, Alexa and I had spent some time together. This is where I think everything sort of clicked.
Three years ago, Alexa was diagnosed with Scoliosis. For the past three years and every six months, Alexa gets an X-Ray to monitor the Scoliosis to see if there has been change. We did about a year of physical therapy with no change in degree of curvature. This therapy was intense as it was a deep tissue therapy. Her scoliosis has been a bit of a mystery but seems to be that she is growing so fast that her muscles and ligaments can't keep up which in turn is causing Scoliosis. She's tall and lean and has "legs for days" which are perfect for doing back bends, walk overs and the perfect cartwheels! It also comes with some discomfort in her back, feet and legs sometimes. We noticed in October that there was a change in her back and hip and decided it was time to make an appointment.
We made our way to Riley and were able to use the EOS machine to get THE best image we have ever seen in ALL the imaging she's had done. Alexa's X-Ray showed a 22 degree lumbar curvature at T12 and 21 Degree Thoratic Dextroscoliosis at T8. I was more than happy with the appointment and the equipment Riley had to offer. A far cry from what's offered at the Bloomington Hospital where we normally go to have her X-Ray done. After meeting with her doctor's PA and looking over her images, it was determined that Alexa needs to be braced. I'm not really sure what all of this is going to look like but I do know that I have no doubt she and I are going to be a team because I think the time has come, finally, where she needs me. There will be many appointments ahead as well as some sort of chiropractic or physical therapy to help along side the bracing.
The adjustment is unknown but I've joined a support group and it seems as though this is going to be pretty tough. Eating, sleeping, sitting and even going to the bathroom are all going to be a little different and take some time adjusting. Alexa will be required to wear her brace 18 hours a day for about the next 2-3 years. She will have about 6 hours a day where she doesn't have to wear it but is required to sleep in the brace. That is a very LONG time frame to wrap our minds around so we are choosing to take it one appointment at a time. Alexa will have her mold cast done December 17th and it will take about a week to come in. After that, we will have another x-ray done at Riley about 4 weeks later with the brace on to see where her scoliosis is and if they've seen improvement.
The tricky part for me as her Mom is that I don't know anyone else that has gone through this or is going through this currently so it's been tough. Making these decisions aren't easy for Chris and I when we are going in blind. I have found some support groups online specifically with girls Alexa's age going through the exact same thing. I am looking forward to connecting with some of them as their daughters are a little ahead of Alexa and bracing. I have no doubt that this is going to be very uncomfortable and we will be doing a lot of trial and error when it comes to making her as comfortable as possible. Her brace will go from just under her armpits down to her pubic bone and then some pieces along the sides of her hips.
With all the unknown there is one thing that is certain. Not only does Alexa need me but I think more than that...I need HER. She has got the best attitude and is ready to face this head on. Do I think she has a grasp on this and understands totally? I don't. But I think for right now, I'm okay with that because she's not dwelling on it and she's not worrying about anything. She's living her best life just like she always does and is about the happiest kid lately. I am soaking up ALL of it because I know there are tears ahead but I will take the giggles TODAY.
Some of the struggles we face are silent and sometimes I think Alexa is quiet with the challenges that get to her.
As much as Alexa is showing that she needs me recently, it can't go unnoticed that I have THE best husband and I without a doubt, need him.
Every.Single.Day.
I need him.
When I don't have my own back on the stress of everything, he has it and I am beyond grateful.
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